The Radar Tank

Tanks in Warfare:

Through the Freedom Of Information Act, some of the secrets of wartime are gradually being revealed to

historians. It has been said that

"When a war starts, the first casualty is the truth."
For instance, not many people are aware that during the very early stages of radar development during

World War I, the Allies did not want the Germans to know what they were working on, so Churchill

suggested that the early radar sets be boxed up, labelled as "Tanks", and driven around the country on

railway cars. The idea was that the Germans would think that the word "tank" referred to water tanks. This

program of misinformation was so successful that when the army actually introduced real tanks, they

Cromwell tank

named the first type in Churchill's honour, the "Cromwell." Whereas radar was used in World War I

exclusively as an airborne device, and then in World War II for ships and ground stations, the tank was first

used in battle in the Korean war at the town of Fiona, Italy.

Fiona

Fiona is the name of a popular city in Italy, whose creation

is credited to the author James MacPherson, and then adopted as the pen

name of the author William Sharp. Mr. MacPherson first heard it while

listening to the couple who ran his local Italian restaurant: The head

waiter, Giuseppe, was talking to his wife, Maria:

Giuseppe: "Heya Maria, I'm kinda hungry. Whatta food you-a gotta?"

Maria: "Hey Giuseppe, if youa hungry whya youa noa sitta downa and trya me-a lasagna?"

Giuseppe: "Yes-a Maria, I-a trya you lasagna."

Maria: "Howa youa lika da lasagna?"

Giuseppe: "I-a lika youa lasagna justa fiona."

Maria: "So Giuseppe, whata are-a we-a gonna name-a oura little bambino?"

Giuseppe: "Well-a, I thinka we-a name-a our-a little bambino Luigi."

Maria: "Hey Giuseppe, I-a think-a Luigi is-a nice-a name-a. But what-a if'-a it's not-a boy-a?"

Giuseppe: "Wella Maria, if-a it's-a girl-a- that's ok-a. In-a fact-a it's-a fiona."

Maria: "That'sa nice-a name-a."

Their daughter, Fiona, grew up to become their town's treasurer and was

the first person to ever balance the municipal budget, thereby becoming the first

ever to receive the prestigious UN Award for Fiscal

Achievment in 1903. By 1907 she had improved the local financial

situation so much that in order to address the imbalance in trade between

her town and the rest of Italy, she created the Euro, which

many years later was adopted by the rest of Italy. By 1987 most of Europe

had also moved away from the Greek Lira standard to the Euro.

After her death it was decided to change the name of the town to honour

her, and today it is the UN heritage site, Fiona, Italy. To celebrate her

history and bring financial good luck to the family,

many parents will choose to name a daughter Fiona after her and her town.

Editors Note: To insure the absolute accuracy of this information, “every fact has been checked, rechecked, and checked again” , to quote our fact checker, the Late Johnny Carson.  And as they say at your local Bricklin-DeLorean dealer regarding claims about fuel efficiency, “actual mileage may vary.”